Fast Talk On Slow Play

Does it really require an eight-hour “summit” to determine how the golf industry can get golfers to improve pace of  play? Or representatives from every major golf organization on the continent? (Eight hours? I could have played about 50 holes in that much time.)

I did learn one thing after reviewing the proceedings of the USGA’s symposium on slow play:  I learned that championship golf is different from recreational golf! (Imagine that.)

As former PGA Tour Commissioner Deane Beaman pointed out, it’s impossible to get 156 of the best players in the world around a golf course in less than 4 hours and 40 minutes. Yep, that’s different, all right.

At the highest level of play, it takes a thought process to determine what to do with the club, ball, and environment…then wait for two or three other players to go through the same process before walking to the next shot.  After all, there’s money at stake. Big money.

Duh. I’m having a Homer Simpson moment.  Sorry, I already knew that championship golf is not the same as my normal game at my home course.

I already knew that when playing with my buddies — guys at various stages of their games and their lives (beginner, socialite, business guy on cell phone) I regularly have to remind them that 1) we are not that good, 2) time is of essence, and 3) they should hit the ball and move on. Chop, chop.

I tell them very simply, we are here to play. I don’t want to give a Rules seminar, analyze their swings, or conduct an agronomic dissertation. Let’s have fun, laugh, and play golf. And keep moving.

If they want to get serious, either enter a tournament or find another sport.

If I have to tell them that (and I do), then the game has failed somewhere along the line. Yes, recreational golfers need to play faster. But they won’t do that until golf’s various associations (PGA Tour, USGA, LPGA, others) speed up their events and, by setting a good example, educate  the rest of us in how to play at a proper pace.

A very smart person told me that the best teaching tool for expediting play is darkness. If more people played after 5 pm, they’d have to  move a lot faster than if they teed off in the morning.

Another good lesson is to be aware of the groups around you: Keep up with those in front, keep ahead of those behind.  And please, if you have to play slow, be kind enough to let me and all the others trying to keep moving play through. (Basic etiquette to fellow players and the course—fixing ball marks, raking bunkers—is almost as much a lost art as playing quickly, but that’s material for future rants.)

Golf’s ruling bodies can have all the studies, science, and dialogue they want. My experience tells me that it means next to nothing to the guy who has paid his hefty membership or green fee to play and thinks he’s bought unlimited time in the outdoors. And until that changes, the game is going nowhere fast.